Well, today is just another blah day. I get older and I realize that my purpose for doing a lot of things is just gone. I have lots of plans and things I would like to do but when it comes right down to it, I don't WANT to do anything!  My children are grown and do their own thing and lots of times Tiff just doesn't want to hear my idea about things, although I think I have good ideas most of the time! 

 I am learning to try to pull back on the advice! It's hard!

I made hominy this week and it turned out really good! Tiff and I ate it the first day...Thursday....but it gets old fast! I should package some up and give to David tomorrow if I go to church. 

I asked Tiff to go with me and although I doubt she actually will do it, I am working on her!

A journey begins with a single step, and that would be the first! Please Jesus, let her go just this time, the first time of many?

 

 February 1, 2025

Can't believe so much of my life has passed! I am 75!
The 28th I ordered a new computer that was over $1000 and it came yesterday. Couldn't get it to work cause the cable had the wrong end on it. I went to bed last night depressed, and woke up this morning depressed. I am going to die and I just don't know how it's going to happen!
I apologized this morning to Tiff cause she will probably be the one who finds me and I don't know what shape I will be in. I think, upon thinking about it, that if I ever feel like I am really sick that I'm going to call the ambulance and have them take me away.
I have to go to the funeral home on Monday and arrange my cremation. Tiff is worried, now I know it sounds bad, but she's worried about not getting her life insurance for me because a funeral costs so much!
I told her that I would arrange the cremation.  I just gotta do that!

Maybe like Connie did, I should put the money somewhere where she can find it? But by then the cost might be more? What to do, what to do???

I'll ask Jennie! LOL  That sounds like more what I would do!

I can't find the price of a cremation but I'll go by the Jennings on Monday and check. I hate to keep putting it off and with all Tiff's worries, this would be one thing off her mind. I know she worries about me, but God knows what she would do if I do die!!!

I have to get rid of so many things! I am loaded down with junk and I don't want to be anymore!!!

Help me, Jesus, be the best I can be! Give me faith!!!

Oh My

 On Saturday I started the whole thing. I simply asked T for the key to the big storage so I could check my stuff and to remove the garbage that was there. She changed persona's in a heartbeat and stomped off into the hallway. I said never mind, just forget that I asked. You'd have to know and see how she changes to know just what I'm talking about. That hurts my feelings so bad you can't imagine. Then she stomped back up the hallway and out the door, saying I'm Leaving. (for work)
I texted her and said, "All I can say to you is that you face your own karma. I know you don't want to hear it, but you will remember everything you do in the years to come."

All weekend I have been cautious and not saying much, just mainly staying in my bedroom. If I watched something on tv she would turn her phone way up and I said, so that's to let me know you don't want me watching that?

I cam in from church yesterday and mainly didn't talk and didn't choose to watch anything on tv, then went to bed early.

Today......I crept around till 11:30 when she woke up and then I started cleaning. When I went in the bathroom she had pulled off a pair of MY panties that had a panty liner on them and the whole thing was soaked with blood. I yelled, yes I did, to her to come in there. She said no, she didn't think she would. I said yes, you will come in here and clean this up right now. Ofc she didn't. For a bit. After I said you will do it or just get your stuff and go to work and don't come back. I said I know you don't have any respect for me or care what I think, but no one in the world would do something like this if they cared a bit about someone. I said I know you don't have any respect but you live here, and you will not do things like this if you want to keep living here. I said try leaving something like that at Cody's house and see how it goes!

She went in there and got the panties and threw them in the trash. She walked around and I just sat on my computer and watched videos. I asked her once to come watch a video and she smarted off so I just left it at that. When she was leaving for work she said, I'm leaving, I'm going, Bye, and See Ya, and See you when I get back. And I didn't respond at all. 

I am so depressed, or I was, but it's all on her now. I am not going to feel bad, just not, not anymore. It's her life, she's trying to make mine awful, but she's more miserable than I am. She's making her own life bad, and as of now I won't help her any more. Nope, nada, not at all!

 Well, we went out and picked out our new refrigerator this morning! Or should I say "MY" new one. Tiff went and she was just really huffy when we got there and then just sat down on the steps by them. I tried over and over to get her to express which one she wanted and all, but she just said, It's Yours, I don't care. Or It doesn't matter, or whatever! So I was excited and I guess I should have pressed her harder and catered to her and petted her and pulled it out of her what she wanted. But She said over and over she didn't care. I am the one buying it and going to pay for it and all....and all this time we'd said we wanted a smaller one so............stupid me. While I did the paperwork I found out that she'd gone outside and sat on a bench. Then......we got in the car to come home and she mumbled.........."TINY LITTLE REFRIGERATOR!" I said what? She said it's a tiny little refrigerator. I said TIFF, I TRIED TO GET YOU TO TELL ME WHAT YOU WANTED, or if you wanted a big one! I went overboard trying to get her to say and to the point that she was getting mad. So I said you should have SAID YOU WANTED A BIG ONE! So....we started home...I said do you want to get food. "IT'S WHATEVER YOU WANT." I said if you want something you are going to have to say. Or we just go home? She didn't say. So I just started driving. I said speak now or don't. She didn't so I just drove home. We got home and she got out of the car and came and sat in the swing and she looked pouty. I said, What's Wrong? She said nothing. Nothing. I said why are you about to cry. She said, I"m not. I said is it cause I got a little refrigerator.......(and it's NOT a little refrigerator...it's just not a side by side, it has a freezer on top and the other on the bottom). But she said no, and she teared up. I said, you sucked the joy out of it? She just didn't say anything so I came inside. She was pouty for about 20 minutes and I made coffee and all that and then Lo and behold, the Goddess Cody called and Tiff was laffin and smily and all that. What a miracle that woman can wreak!!! Amazing!

 

"If life gives you a lemon, add it to a tall glass of iced tea!"...seems to be my motto. Easygoing and optimistic, I like the twisted slice of life that I view daily. I'm a "pass it forward" kind of person and believe that what you put out there will eventually come back to you. I should be getting mine any day now....please!? 😃😃😃

Seriously, I get my blessings everyday, and I thank my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, for everything He has blessed me with, and I love Him dearly and can't wait to see him one of these days!💓

Took David's kitten over to him today, and Betty was mad, as I knew she would be, but oh well. David said the other day that he figured the only way to do it was for me to just bring him over. So I fixed that big cage, put in a litter box, a water bottle, a hammock and a box/bed. He's going to fix it so she can't open it, said he would fix it till he couldn't be opened instead of the ties I have used and I said that would be fine. He realizes that she's ruthless and he's gonna take precautions. He said he had clips he could fasten the doors with that she couldn't get off.
I know he's gonna take care of him, and omg, after I left he sat down by the cage and he was getting the kitten out and talking to him, and he's gonna love it so much!!!

So....I went over and then got him to go out with me and we moved the cage to the porch. He was putting the stuff in it and I saw him looking in the window nodding his head and I said, what's she saying....he said she's shaking her head "NO" I laughed cause he was nodding vigorously!

We got the cage fixed and then went and put the kitty in there and he was not liking it much. So David talked to him and like he was afraid if he got loose he'd run away, and he probably would've.

Then I said well do you think I should go in and face the music. I said she's going to hate me forever. At this point, she can like it or lump it. Went in and sat down and she said to me, that if I wanted to get rid of that thing why didn't I just haul it off instead of bringing it over here? David said she didn't want to get rid of him, Mom, she brought him over here BECAUSE I WANTED HER TO AND I WANT HIM. I said David needs a pet, Betty. She said he's never needed one before! I said BECAUSE YOU WOULDN'T LET HIM HAVE ONE! YOU KNOW IT! I said he's always wanted one and you wouldn't have it!!!

David said I HAD A CAT, MOM, AND WHAT HAPPENED TO IT? Someone turned it loose! She said yes I did, it was squalling out there on the porch all day. He said TWO HOURS, IT WASN'T OUT THERE OVER TWO HOURS And I was keeping it in the cage till I could tame it!

She said he's too old to have a cat.......I said look at me, how many I have and I'm older than he is! She said because you've always done that. She said I hate cats, just all that hair and it gets all over you, they sit on the cushions on the porch and when you sit there it gets on you. I said look at how many I have and I have no problem with cat hair! She said I'm not cleaning up after it!!! David said Mom, what do you ever clean anymore, you aren't able to? Who cleans around here anyway? She said NOBODY! And he said thanks Mom, it's good to know that you appreciate what I do around here! That shows how wicked she is, and she doesn't appreciate anything he does if it's not something FOR HER!

He was so happy, Jennie, and it breaks my heart, but I am REJOICING that I can do that for him. You know....he truly wanted that other cat....he has so much love to give them! And I honestly thing God knew that....I mean, this cat hadn't had kittens at all, and she's about 3 years old.....for her to all of a sudden have those two...and one the color he liked...and JUST A LITTLE WHILE AFTER SHE TURNED LOOSE HIS OTHER ONE! That just seems like a miracle to me! I am thrilled to the bottom of my heart for that man! When you come over again, let's go over there and you get to know him. He's just an awesome person! I know you'd love him. I am the only relative that he basically talks with. Patty is out there, and her daughter and all, but Patty is not going to help him with Betty. Says Betty broke her heart when she told her she didn't want her to move out there; and I admit that is a horrible thing to say. But he thought, and I think Patty let him think all this time, that when she moved down here, that she was going to stay with Betty some and let him go and do things he wanted to do. I hope she does but I don't have any hope that she will.

Hello World!

 

Not going to say I have anything to say because I don't!

Not going to complain because it does no good! Well, I probably will be complaining, because even if it does no good, at least it's out there so I can get it off my mind!

I do have a lot of blessings and I need to be counting them instead of my woes! Sorry, it's just me. A complainer and far from perfect.